The Uptown Hostel


By Miles Talbot-Stern

It was the day of the long awaited staff party and I headed off to the festivities at the Flying Pig.  After arriving and meeting up with colleagues, I sat down to our favorite lethal concoction of vodka and beer, the "Ninja Death milesPint".  This beverage made for quite a night and as you can imagine most of the events are a bit vague.

After the party ended, my key decided to break off in the bike lock and I stormed into reception demanding bolt cutters.  I created quite a scene outside by exclaiming loudly, "I'm not stealing this bike" and tossing the broken lock out onto the street.

I then attempted to ride off with a co-worker on the back of my bicycle.  The back tire was bent out of shape so the bike would frequently drift off in a random direction.  With someone on the back it really veered off course, causing me to ride straight into a store front shutter.
Receiving quite a few cheers from passers-by we tried to see if my co-worker would be any more successful riding the bike with me on the back.  This went OK until we swerved to avoid an oncoming car and crashed into some trash cans.  After this I decided that walking was probably the safest way of getting home!!!