To the young and the restless!
For a long time I just ‘did’. I owned this figurative board to surf the waves of every new adventure. I would dive into life’s ocean without a care in the world. It got me some cuts and bruises, but they were easily ignored. Life and I were caught up in a passionate and mad affair. Until that one morning where I woke up to realize I will be 30 this year.
Everything changed. Cold sweat running down my spine. A painful throat and a head-rush when I sit up. “How did this happen? When did time enter my affair?” I went back to sleep but my brain was on a mission for answers. “Did I make the right decisions? Should I have kept travelling or stayed in Australia?” In the shower I start to doubt my career choices. Am I a good manager? Have I lost my chance to become a writer?” The choice of outfit only makes me wonder about my empty bed. “Can I not make a commitment? Oh god. Did I screw up my time?” Fearing for my sanity I call a friend. Only able to whimper; “Fem, I will be 30”.
“Oh great!” she replies. “Good excuse for a party”. Stupid me. How can a 28 year old understand my crisis at hand. I now dial for a 33 year old. “David, I have no house, no big career, no trust-funds…”
“None of us do Lin, what are you freaking over?” Utterly misunderstood, I meet a 40 year old for coffee.
“I remember my 30s..”
“Finally” I sigh.
“Those were the best years of my life!”
“DOES ANYONE REALIZE THE SERIOUSNESS OF THIS SITUATION?” Leaving my twenties means no more taking a chance, or whatever happens. Love will become this serious consideration without passion. Pretty soon I will need to shout over my rattling ovaries. Help! I am not ready to grow up. I try drowning the panic but even the hangovers are not the same. “This is ridiculous. How does the rest of the world deal with it?” I scream to Robien. “So what, you’ll be 30. I will be too soon”. She smiles; “we’ll just have to date younger guys”! After 3 wines we are laughing about our 40 year old who still runs around on festivals with bare feet in the mud. “It’s just a bloody number” we conclude. Besides, all good things come in 3s. Accept the inevitability of time. I’ll now just have to go to the gym to keep my godley body. I can do that…I think… I send my mind on a holiday and start planning my huge party ahead. Wiser, marked by time, but more passionate and life-crazy than ever. Because guess what; I can grow older without growing up!